Midnight Ponderings

How funny that as I start to write this it is now 11:40 pm.

Whenever I start to feel too stressed or overwhelmed I find myself sitting in front of the computer until the early hours of the morning. At the most stressful and saddest times I would often sit here until 2 am, trying my hardest to find anything to help numb the pain. I was desperate for distractions from my real life. I went this route instead of truly facing my problems and devoting time to finding solutions.

Now, I regret those nights. What a waste of time. I could have been working to help cure our situation; I could have been praying or at least acknowleding that there was a real problem at hand and that ignoring them didn't make it go away.

Recently I have been thinking of those times. They weigh on me heavily. While dyeing this yarn I made a decision. I decided to no longer avoid the realities of life, not now or in the future should rough times appear.

I am devoting myself to always accepting the truth and not finding ways to numb the pain I might feel. I have named these times "Midnight Ponderings". I know there will be times when the computer or tv or newest craft obsession will call my name...but I will not answer. I will push through and go through the pain of life to make it through stronger and happier.

This colorway is both a celebration and sign of devotion to myself.